♪ Ooh ♪ Ah ♪ Ooh-ah ♪ Donkey Kong ♪ Hey-oh
♪ Look out down below ♪ Here he comes
♪ Banana slamma
♪
♪ Donkey Kong ♪
♪ Ooh ♪ Ah ♪ Ooh-ah, Donkey Kong
♪
♪ Ooh ♪ Ah ♪ Ooh-ah, Donkey Kong ♪ Hey-oh
♪ Look out down below ♪ Here he comes
♪ Banana slamma ♪ Kongo Bongo"s hero ♪
♪ Hey-oh ♪ Donkey Kong, let"s go ♪
♪ Let"s go ♪
♪ Here he comes ♪ Banana slamma
If this doesn"t make Candy
notice me, nothing will!
[Steam whistle blowing]
Okay DK, get ready, she"s coming!
Hey Candy, look at me!
Mmm, nice!
So dreamy.
She noticed.
Whoa!
[Sighing]
Leonardo Di-Ape-rio is the
most adorable, talented, dreamy
movie star I"ve ever drooled over!
What"s he got that I don't have?
Well, movie-star good looks,
movie-star fame, movie star money.
I"ve been in lots of movies.
Huh?
Every Saturday afternoon I
sit right in the front row.
Candy!
I don"t over-pay you to talk to
knuckle-draggers, get to work!
That"s work, as in doing something useful.
Famous movie stars like DK
don"t have to work!
Never mind.
I need this parcel to go out
right away, air mail.
Then Funky"s your monkey!
Want me to do anything while
you"re gone?
Oh, just one thing.
Work!
[Kissing]
Funky, you airborne virus of an ape.
Wait, I"ve got it!
The end.
What a finish!
You were saying, your dudeship?
I need you to fly this... >> Uh-uh!
My flying days are over-and-out.
I"m writing the great Kongo
Bongo screenplay.
Writing?
Correct me if I"m wrong, but
doesn"t that involve knowing
something, like, say, the alphabet?
Hey, dude, the movie biz is where it is!
Every dude and dudette loves to
go to the movies.
You"re right!
They love it so much they pay to
go to the movies.
So, tell me, Funky, what do
I need to become a movie mogul?
For starters, a good script!
I call it Casa Kongo Bongo.
It"s a romantic comedy, action
thriller, mystery, love-story,
disaster movie.
You want to buy it?
Buy it?
For money?
[Laughing]
How does "honorary unpaid
assistant to the executive producer" sound?
Cool!
Mmm, good.
Hey, Bluster, what are you doing?
Let me guess: Funky glued
your fingers together?
As it happens, I"m scouting
locations for my movie.
What movie?
I"m producing and directing
my first feature.
That"s the funniest thing I ever heard!
[Laughing]
Uh, DK?
A real, live movie.
Hello!
Candy will go bananas!
And if I"m in the movie,
she"ll go bananas over me for sure!
You"re making a movie!
Best news I ever heard!
Can"t a monkey have a little
peace and quiet without you big
baboons acting like a bunch of goons?
Bluster"s making a movie with
me as the star!
I need someone with star
quality, not stark-raving-mad quality!
A movie?
Of all the nonsense I have to
listen to around here, that"s
the craziest!
A movie?
What nonsense.
Hmph!
So, Bluster, when do we start?
Auditions are tomorrow at noon.
I"ll bring the script, you bring
the talent!
Did he say noon?
♪ I"m going to be a star ♪
♪ I"m going to be admired
like James Dean ♪
♪ Or Mr. Bean ♪ I"m going to be a smash ♪
♪ You"ll see me on the town
with big-name stars ♪
♪ Spending all of my do-re-mi cold cash ♪
♪ I"m going to be in the movies ♪
♪ I"m going to be a big star ♪
♪ I can"t wait till Candy
sees me up on the screen ♪
♪ We"ll be driving around in a fancy car ♪
♪ I can see it now
the crowd begins to cheer ♪
♪ My name in lights
at the movie"s premiere ♪
♪ I"m going to be a star ♪
♪ A matinée, idol worship from afar ♪
♪ I"m going to be a star ♪
♪ You"re going to know this face
no matter who you are ♪
♪ You see my face on every magazine ♪
♪ At all the biggest parties
I"ll be making the scene ♪
♪ I"m going to be a star ♪
♪ A matinée idol worship from afar ♪
♪ I"m going to be a star ♪
♪ I"ll be a star ♪
Hey, Diddy!
Oh, this is gonna be so great!
Bluster"s making a movie and
auditions are tomorrow!
Tomorrow?
This could be my big break!
I"ve gotta rehearse!
Should I sing?
Should I dance?
I could sing and dance, couldn"t I!
Ohh!
A real, live movie!
Gotta go, Diddy!
Do you copy that, soldier?
A movie on the island.
You know what that means?
Popcorn.
No!
Uh, it means...
Well, King K. Rool will know what it means.
We"d better go tell him.
Sir, early reconnaissance
reveals Bluster"s making a movie
on the island.
A movie?
How very interesting.
Good work, Klump!
Why, thank you, sir!
See, I know just what he "s thinkin".
He"s reconnoitring to gain
domination of the island, once and for all.
A movie, you say.
Excellent.
This would be the perfect opportunity to...
Here it comes.
Be a star of the silver screen!
See I told you... What?!
I, King K. Rool, shall star
in Bluster"s movie.
Now leave me alone!
I must prepare for my audition!
Ready for the first audition!
Action!
♪ La-a-a >> Cut!
I love it, you were made for the role.
Next!
Action!
Hi there, I just flew in from
the White Mountains...
Don"t call us, we'll call you.
Next!
[Humming]
Oh!
Next!
Now listen, and listen tight!
If you don"t get on that plane
tonight, we"ll all regret it!
Maybe not today.
But soon!
The goings-on of two little
lizards doesn"t amount to a hill
of beans in this crazy world.
Sir.
Next!
Okay!
First I"d like to recite a little poem.
Uh.
Mary had a little, uh, um, a
little banana... Its fleas were... >> Next!
No, wait!
I"ve got more!
Watch this!
Next!
Wait, I"ve got talent I
haven"t even used yet!
Next!
Whoa!
So, am I leading-monkey material?
You"re not even nuclear waste material!
If I was casting for a big,
stupid ape, you"d be my first choice.
I"ll never find my leading man.
Where"s that certain someone
with a regal bearing, a noble
brow, that charismatic
character who"s charming and
sophisticated.
He"s right here!
Huh?
Hmm.
Oh, yes, yes, yes!
You"ve got the looks, the
voice, the style!
And let"s not forget, I'm green!
You"re more than green,
you"re my leading man!
Him?
What"s wrong with the way I look?
Well, it"s not fair.
Everybody"s in your movie but me.
You think so?
Okay, Donkey Kong, there"s one
part left, but if you mess up,
you"ll never work in this town again!
Thanks, Bluster, you won"t regret this.
Hey, Candy!
Guess who"s gonna be starring in
Bluster"s movie!
Leonardo Di-Ape-rio!
Nope.
Uh, Diddy?
Nope.
Funky?
No.
Cranky.
Nada.
Eddie the Yeti?
Not him!
Klump?
Huh?
Uh, Krusha?
When I said you"d never
guess, I meant you"d guess me!
I"m gonna be the bad guy!
Are you impressed?
Sure!
They say that playing the
villain takes real acting skill.
Really?
Wow!
I"m impressed!
Can I just ask you one little thing?
Sure.
Can you teach me how to act?
[Sobbing]
Well, you could try method acting.
Great, thanks for the tip!
Method acting, of course.
Uh, what"s method acting?
It"s simple: if you're the
bad guy in the movie, you think
like a bad guy, you talk like a
bad guy, you become a bad guy!
♪ Think about the meanest guy
that you know! ♪
♪ Is he cruel, is he bad?
Does he talk real slow? ♪
♪ It"s the villain that I wanna play ♪
♪ I don"t know if I can be that way! ♪
♪ If I gotta be bad I gotta find a way! ♪
♪ Talk bad, look bad, be bad!
♪ Walk bad, think bad, be bad
♪ The villain in your mind
has to be unkind! ♪
♪ If you wanna be good you gotta be bad! ♪
♪ Lies and fibs cheats and steals! ♪
♪ My treacherous villainy makes me squeal ♪
♪ I never tip, I butt in line
♪ I never clean the dishes
and it suits me fine! ♪
♪ I"m so pleased I"m such a sleaze! ♪
♪ This bad guy thing"s a breeze ♪
♪ Gonna steal, gonna be untrue
♪ Black hearted through and through ♪
♪ If I wanna be bad
I gotta walk in his shoes! ♪
♪ Talk bad, look bad, be bad
♪ Walk bad, think bad, be bad
♪ The villain in my mind
is gonna be unkind ♪
♪ If I wanna be good I gotta be bad! ♪
[Maniacally laughing]
And action!
I"m King of the world!
And Kongo Bongo too!
Cut!
I thought I was wonderful, as usual.
Didn"t you?
What I"m looking for is
more, bigger, grander.
You want this girl more than you
want anything in the world!
No, I don"t!
I don"t even like her!
Hey!
Then pretend it"s something
you do want more than anything
else in the world.
Mmm, besides the Crystal Coconut?
That"s your motivation!
You want the Crystal Coconut!
Ahh, you"re right!
That"s just what I want!
Can I have a few moments to, uh,
find my character?
Sure.
Take 15!
Can"t you two lugubrious
lizards find something constructive to do?
Just waiting for your command, sir!
Uh, uh, sorry, boss.
[Giggling]
Hey, where"s King K. Rool?
That was me!
That was you?
I"ve modeled my character in
the movie after the biggest
villain on the island: King K.
Rool!
What do you think?
Well, it"s not bad, but, uh...
Can"t you two lugubrious
lizards find something constructive to do?
[Laughing]
That doesn"t sound like
King K. Rool at all, too weak
and spineless.
You addled amphibian!
I am King K. Rool!
Ow!
Stop that!
You"re wrecking my set!
If you don"t stop imitating
me, I"ll have your head for a hacky-sack!
If you don"t stop imitating
me, I"ll have your head for a hacky-sack!
Hey, big buddy, take it easy.
I know you"re trying to impress
Candy, but you"re becoming more
like K. Rool than K. Rool!
Get that ham out of here and
rehearse his next scene with him.
Take 10!
Have you noticed that while
everybody on the island is
making the movie, nobody is
guarding the Crystal Coconut?
Uh... >> Well, I have, and I have a
plan.
[Maniacally laughing]
Okay, big buddy, let"s
rehearse the scene one more time.
And roll "em!
The Crystal Banana is mine!
That"s not the line, DK.
It"s "The Crystal Coconut is mine!"
But I don"t want a coconut.
I want a banana!
And there"s the answer to my prayers.
Banana, banana, banana.
DK!
Wait!
DK, in this scene, you"re
going to steal the Crystal
Coconut because...?
I"m the meanest, baddest,
evilest bad guy on the island!
Exactly!
That"s your motivation!
Motivation, schmotivation.
That"s who my character is, and
that"s who I am.
Oh, whatever.
Lights!
Camera!
Action!
The Crystal Coconut is mine!
And with it, I shall rule the world!
[Laughing]
The coconut"s gone!
Yes, it"s gone, because your
character stole it!
Now finish the scene!
No, the Crystal Coconut"s gone!
It"s really gone!
Look.
Cut!
Hey, why are you all lookin"
at me?
Well, you are the one who
noticed the Crystal Coconut was missing.
And you are the evilest bad
guy on the island these days.
Those were your very words!
I was just acting!
That doesn"t mean I took it.
Does it?
Any ape who steals the
Crystal Coconut doesn"t belong
in our community.
I have no choice.
I banish you to the White Mountains!
But I was only acting!
[Sighing]
I just wanted to be a movie star for you.
Mm-hm.
Well, you believe me,
don"t you, little buddy?
Uh, I hope this won"t affect
my screen credit.
Hmph!
Oh.
Hmm.
This is so unfair.
I would never hurt anyone!
EDDIE: Ouch!
Not on purpose.
Eddie the Yeti.
Look at me.
Do I look like someone who
would steal the Crystal Coconut?
Do I look evil?
[Laughing]
Funny!
Not bad!
Funny >> Hey, you"re right!
It is funny!
Funny!
Hey!
I"m not a bad guy!
I just play one in the movies!
Ooh!
I have to tell the gang!
I have to make them see who I really am!
Especially Candy.
Bluster!
I can explain everything!
Hmm, no Bluster.
No anybody!
Hey, I wonder if any of my scenes are here.
The Crystal Banana is mine!
Hey!
That"s me!
And there"s the answer to my prayers.
Finally, it"s mine!
All mine!
Pretending I know nothing
about this will be my greatest
acting performance ever!
I knew I didn"t steal the coconut!
And now I can prove it!
Oh, no!
My proof is gone!
Unless...
So, Funky, what"s the best
part about being a script writer?
This!
DK: Ouch!
Hey, Funky, you lost your...
[As Bluster]: I mean, if nobody
wants this valuable typewriter, it"s mine!
All mine!
Keep it, dude!
"Rewrite this, rewrite that."
Dude, I can"t tell rewrite from
re-wrong anymore!
That"s too bad, because Bluster...
[As Bluster]: I mean, I, me,
that is, need one more scene!
Well, write it yourself,
dude, because this writer is blocked.
Permanently!
Very well, but I"m taking it
out of your residuals.
[As DK]: Diddy, little buddy!
[As Bluster]: I mean, Diddy, you
chump of a chimp, round up the
rest of the cast for this last
scene, and do it fast, this is
costing me money!
Okay, but it wouldn"t kill
you to be nice!
But if I was nice, I
wouldn"t be Bluster.
Huh!
That"s for sure.
He bought it!
I can act!
Mmm.
I just wish I could type.
I don"t understand!
I thought this film was wrapped!
Bluster said he needed this
one last scene to make the movie
a masterpiece.
Where is Bluster, anyway?
[As Bluster]: Let"s get ready
to roll here everybody.
Time is... >> Uh, money?
Exactly!
I wrote this scene just for you!
I promise it will show the world
the true King K. Rool.
Well, ha-ha, in that case, I, uh...
What"s my motivation in this scene?
You have an admirer,
somebody who worships the ground
you walk on.
But he"s been wronged, terribly wronged!
And now, he wants to show you
he"s not the ape you think he is!
And when you see that, you"ll
shower him with kisses!
There"s nothing like that in
this scene.
Subtext, it"s all subtext.
Places, everybody!
And action!
If you really loved me,
you"d show me what's in your vault.
You doubt my love?
I"ve opened my heart for you.
But not your vault!
[Sobbing]
Don"t cry, my sweet.
See for yourself: there"s
nothing in here I value more
than you, except... >> The Crystal Coconut!
Who wrote this trash?!
Sir, time for immediate
impending evacuation, sir!
[Laughing]
Gotcha!
Whew.
Donkey Kong!
Donkey dude!
Banana Slamma!
Gee, DK, I guess we all owe
you an apology.
Never mind, keep rolling!
My darling, we"ll always have Kongo Bongo.
DK!
What are you doing?
It"s called acting!
Oops.
BLUSTER: And now, ladies and
gentlemen, I give you the
premier screening of a Bluster
production in association with
Bluster Entertainment:
Casa Kongo Bongo!
Produced and directed by me, Bluster.
See, I told you the writer
counts for nothing.
And roll it!
If you really loved me,
you"d show me what's in your vault.
You doubt my love?
I"ve opened my heart for you.
But not your vault!
Oh, yes!
Huh?
[Snoring]
Everybody"s a critic.
♪